Music is the best therapy. We all go through stressful and challenging days in our lives and days when nothing seems to be going as planned. We should all make time for ourselves and stop worrying what others want, say, need and think. It’s time to take care of ourselves, to do what makes us happy, and to pray and meditate on good thoughts and remember that music heals the soul.

What the Blues are all about

 

Things to remember

  • If you can’t find your baby do a check on your best friend.
  • Trusting slick talking people you meet at the crossroads could have consequences
  • While sex with Stagger Lees woman might seem like an attractive proposition, you might want to rethink that idea.
  • Never knock on the front door, always go around back to see who is slippin’ out.
  • While you might want to share your troubles, the reality is nobody really cares!
  • The preacher man is of little comfort unless you are dead.
  • Do not trust any levy to function, especially in Louisiana
  • Moderate consumption of alcohol is overrated and highly improbable.
  • Don’t call her “baby” she will inevitably break your heart.
  • Your right to happiness is determined by your mate.
  • You cannot learn Blues Music from a book.
  • Your only choice of a pet is a dog, preferable one that is blind or missing a leg.
  • A Blues death is never by accident.
  • A Blues artist is never happily married.
  • A moderate case of the Blues is never recorded.
  • When writing your own Blues song repeat things a lot.
  • Do I really have the Blues? Please refer to the list below.

The Blues are found in places like:

  • Dive bars
  • Prison
  • The crossroads
  • Juke joints
  • Down by the river
  • Street corners
  • in an empty bed
  • in alley ways
  • on the highway
  • the bottom of a glass

 

Are not found in:

  • Nordstroms
  • Day spas
  • Ivy league institutions
  • Posh hotels
  • Galery openings
  • Gourmet restaurants
  • Deluxe apartments in the sky

 

The Blues are sung by people named:

  • Big ______
  • Blind______
  • Little_____
  • Box car______
  • Willie______

 

Are not sung by people named:

  • Tiffany
  • Buffy
  • Skippy
  • Kimberly
  • No matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.


 

If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, it's the Blues.


Acceptable Blues beverages include

  • Bourbon
  • Scotch
  • Beer
  • Jug wine

 

Do not include these beverages

  • Sparkling water
  • Grey Goose
  • Napa cabernet sauvignon
  • Starbucks
  • Perrier with a lemon slice
  • Snapple

 

The Blues can be transported in a

  • Chevy
  • Cadillac
  • Southbound train
  • Greyhound bus
  • Mule
  • A broken down______

 

Cannot be transported in a

  • Lexus
  • Private jet
  • BMW
  • Porsche
  • Yacht

 

The Blues come from these places

  • Chicago
  • Detroit
  • New Orleans
  • Kansas City
  • Mississippi

 

Do not come from places like

  • Malibu
  • The Hamptons
  • Hawaii
  • Bel Air
  • Anywhere on the North shore of Chicago

 

The Blues start with lines like

  • Woke up this morning…
  • My baby left me standing….
  • She stole my heart……
  • She ran away with…..
  • He is a low down, mistreating…..
  • She has breath like a junk yard dog....

 

They don’t start out with lines like

  • Blue skies and puffy clouds….
  • Can’t find the remote…
  • My life is so perfect….
  • Puppies & Kittens……..

 

The Blues talk about

  • Heartache
  • Misery
  • Cheating
  • Bad luck and trouble

 

 

Do not talk about

  • Happy times
  • The perfect wife
  • Winning the lottery
  • Promotions

 

You have the right to sing the Blues if

  • Have just been arrested
  • Your woman run off with the garbage man, bus driver or your best friend
  • You walk in the door and those aren't your pants on the floor
  • Your heart has been broken more than 10 times
  • Somebody gone done you wrong
  • Your mojo is working
  • Your babys got a black cat bone
  • You ever shot a man in Memphis
  • Your dog is blind and/or missing a leg.
  • Your girls got a nice little car, but to may drivers at the wheel
  • You got a big leg woman, in a short skirt, named Caldonia, who is 19 years old and wearing black drawers. If you really know the Blues, you get this one!

 

You do not have the right to sing the Blues if

  • You have never worked a day in your life
  • You still live with your parents.
  • You and your high school sweetheart are still happily married.
  • Your living off a trust fund.
  • The man from Memphis lived.
  • You have any other pet than a dog.
  • Your reservation at the Ritz Carlton was accidently canceled and you were forced to stay at the Four Seasons.
  • Your Mercedes has a flat and AAA is delayed by ten minutes.
  • Your last name is Rockefeller, Kennedy, Gotrocks, Kardashian or Trump.
  • Don't care how tragic your life -- if you own a computer, a DVD or Surround Sound you cannot sing the blues. 

 

Bottom Line- If you can't feel it...then it ain't the Blues!